I’ve been thinking about how quickly we can really change our minds. I went through an experience recently which was somewhat emotionally upsetting. I was pissed off and annoyed at what someone else said. It happened so fast– one moment I’m fine, next moment wowzer, I’m ready to put the verbal gloves on!
In these moments when somebody says something which, how they said it or why they said it, at times we get rubbed the wrong way. When we feel angry, mad, upset, disrespected, not loved, not considered, or not thought of. You have a right to be upset if you so choose but in my opinion getting upset doesn’t ever help us in any way. However, what can change our lives is creating a new pattern within ourselves to be, breathe, relax and watch before we make any moves, any reactions, returning the verbal punch so to speak. There is another way….
Those negative emotions when indulged in whirl around our minds and are held on to, and we know that doesn’t support support us all that well, does it?
Since negative reactions/emotions really don’t help our lives, do not bring beneficial results in any sort of tangible way, why not find a different way to respond? Why not respond from a saner, more awake place from within ourselves?
If we think this is possible, if we believe there is another way, and its part of our daily practice in life, we can imagine letting it go as quickly as possible. What would that feel like?
Could that potentially change your life for the better? What else would be possible if you did not respond to being criticized with such a knee-jerk, decades-old type pattern that was not created with any consciousness?
If we are not careful, we could be holding this negativity, this pain, this wound, this grudge for weeks or days or years or our whole lives!
When I notice I want to react negatively, I STOP. Get grounded in my body, get clear, if even for a moment, and take a few breaths. Then I ask myself questions:
- Do I want to change my state?
- If so, what am I going do to change my state? I know it is not going to change on its own, so what choice am I going to make right not at this moment?
For the event I speak of above it was about 15 or 20 seconds after the experience happened because I’m pretty used to being aware of my emotions and understanding my emotional state and being connected to its ebbs and flows…
First thing I did was I put on the music on as I was in the car. I turned on my favorite music channel, Chill (cmon Chill?! Too funny, right?!). It just puts me in a chillaxin lounge sort of feeling. From the first note, literally, I started to feel better and think better- feeling thoughts. I started to feel wonderful and I start thinking how what was said really doesn’t matter.
Am I going to let someone else define me and take their words to heart if I don’t feel its true, real, or ultimately matters?! HELL NO. 🙂
What would a practice like this be in your business, in your relationships, in your daily life? Do you think it could helpful to you? It sure has helped me.
Chillin,
Matt
